last night i had a loaded gun pointed at my head my friend and i pulled into new orleans at about 1am after driving 8 or so hours. two sleepy travelers looking forward to a nice safe place to rest from the road. getting the suitcases out of the back, turned to my friend to hand her a bag and when I turned back I was looking down the barrel of a small home-made shooter in the hand of a 18ish year old kid. "give me your money" never had a gun pointed in my face before so i was a bit speechless, but i managed a shocked "what?" "give me your money now" "aw man come on, we don't have any money" someone very kind had handed me a c-note few days earlier and that combined with the andrew jackson i found on a bar room floor had knocked my net worth up 110% and even though i had blown a bit of it, i still had enough to survive for a while if need be and after just going a week or two without a dime i wasn't up to the idea of giving away manna from heaven to sweating teenagers with guns and crack habits. so i insisted. "we don't have any money man, we just came off the road." it seemed to be working but he was not giving up yet "then give me the car" "the car?" "yea, give me the car" this was a bit of a surprise twist. now it's much more serious than 60 or so dollars and if he is willing to steal a car he might be willing to shoot a man, however he is negotiating and he doesn't really sound like he wants the car anyway, what he wants is fast cash "man you don't want our car, you know how fast they would catch you in this thing?" don't know where that came from but it stumped him a bit and he went back to demanding our money again. i assured him again that we did not have any money. i know  your all going to ask why i didn't just give him the money and honestly i don't know why but i have a looking back theory that my angel knew that if the kid got the cash he would get the car too and maybe just put a bullet in me for good measure. one crack in the wall would bring the city down, so i stuck to my guns and tried not to look at his. at this point he told my companion "you go inside.he is acting stupid." i turned to see a completely shocked and horrified look on her face and it flashed in my conciousness like heat lightning, this could really be the end. he is going to kill me and he doesn't want the lady to see it. well, if he is going to do it i also would rather him not do it in front of my friend. it felt like i was being led away to be executed for a split second, not a nice feeling but somehow i still felt peaceful…ish. it gets blurry here because something took over me that is obviously much wiser and calmer than me and i couldn't explain what happened if i tried, so suffice to say we went over the your money your car thing several more times until suddenly he heard something and glanced over his right shoulder, a car would come soon and that would be it. he would have to walk away if a car came because we were standing in the street and it was obvious what was happening. this part of the story is all like dream footage in my memory but i vividly remember him finally uncocking the gun and tucking it back into the front of his jeans and the frustrated look on his face as he turned and walked away. millions of things ran through my head in those moments and i wouldn't dare take credit for any of my evasive actions but there is one thing i can look back now and see clearly, it was love that protected me, the fact that i didn't get angry or scared but just looked him in the eye as another human brother, another lost soul in this fucked up world where some people starve and other people waste. a world that doesn't remember what real love is anymore, much less the commands for compassion towards our enemies. well me too, im no great example of god-like love but i was lucky enough to get a glimpse of it last night and for that im very very thankful, even if i had to have a gun pointed at my head to feel it. as we went our separate directions, him off into the shadowy streets of the bywater and god only knows what kind of life, and me up the bumpy sidewalk dragging my life in a suitcase behind me, all i could feel was our connection. he was just like me only with a different set of circumstances around him. he laughed and cried and loved just like me and that similarity had just shown in a shimmer of compassion that made him walk away. love is in all of us wether we want it or not. so do me a favor and if your happy that crowey is still kickin it go to a favorite spot and just say a thanks to that love. the love that created us and guides us and is us.  supercalafragalisticexpealadousiously thankful,  ~b "yea thou i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i will fear no evil for thou art with me."