i was standing on a hill overlooking a vast expanse of desert. the clouds flew like feather plumes across deep blue i asked the wind, "why am i here?" "to learn to listen" it replied. i stood for an hour in that place drifting in and out of consciousness. "why do you stay?" the wind asked me. "because i want to know" "then why don't you listen." everybody has their own ways of finding a existence they can believe in. one they can call their own. mine is this, to stand empty handed on a hill in the desert at once alone and accompanied by all the universe. inside the eye of chaos there is peace. it is not for everyone.  i truly believe it is for very few, but i believe it is my path, the reason for me being here... if there is a reason... other than just being here. "can you take me away from here wind?" "only your heart can take you from this place and you cannot hear your heart, can you?" i listened. the wind was right. i couldn't hear my heart. all i could hear was my mind,this worry, that expense, this project or that. "no agendas can be here in this space if you want to learn and you still have agendas and plans and dreams that mute the sound of your heart . go now and do what you need to do and approach me again when you are truly free of the earth, and i will teach you to fly." i walked dazedly down the black hill i was standing atop. the sun put its golden arm around me like a little wounded bird. i was. i'm not ready. everyone has something they wish that they were doing,  even me. quietly,